Leg Bummed to Discover “Righteous Wind” at its Back is Just Olbermann Being Gross

Oh, the tingles and thrills Chris Matthews’ Leg has been feeling in recent days as it has seemed increasingly likely that a majority of Americans were actually about to take a flyer on a community organizer with poor taste in friends and even worse taste in preachers-and in volatile, dangerous times, no less.

For a few minutes the other day, The Leg even thought it was feeling that righteous wind spoken of by “He Who Will Punish the Productive Through Wealth Spread-age.”

Unfortunately, the warm breeze just turned out to be Olbermann being juvenile (what’s new) after gorging himself on spicy tapas at Bobby Flay’s “Bolo” over on East 22nd. Giggling and giddy, the Countdown host proudly declared his productivity, “Worst Gas in the World.”

The Leg was not inclined to dispute that designation.

Chris Matthews’ Leg Briefly Achieves Elevated State of Consciousness During Obama Speech

As Barack Obama finally laid claim to the Democratic nomination in his speech the other night, The Leg was vibrating like a tuning fork.

Each soaring, ambiguous platitude took the sensitive appendage to a higher level of harmonic resonance. Each thrilling-though-utterly-undeliverable promise sent electric thrills radiating up the Hardball host’s tibia and femur.

As the speech culminated with a level of grandiosity and humble self-importance rarely heard outside a high school valedictory speech. . .

“We will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless; this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal; this was the moment when we ended a war and secured our nation and restored our image as the last, best hope on Earth.”

. . . The Leg momentarily entered a state of super-consciousness which resulted in Chris Matthews’ head getting a fresh case of. . .

The giggles.

Chris Matthews’ Leg to Obama: “You Make Me Want to Be a Better Limb.”

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The Leg has looked into the wise and compassionate eyes of Barack Obama and been transformed. Thanks to the Senator of Light, The Leg has shed it’s cynicism and a not-insignificant amount of unsightly hair.

Michelle Malkin has dubbed him “Glowbama.” Hot Air has the goods on the Radiant One’s spiritual mentor and inspiration.