Getting Fired Wakens Chris Matthews’ Leg. Spasms, Cramps Ensue.

The Oracle–gifted interpreter of the bio-electric pulses racing up and down Chris Matthews’ sciatic nerve–is pleased to announce that getting the hook has jerked The Leg awake.

The Oracle has been around quite a while. He’s been following politics and punditry so long, he can remember when Andrew Sullivan was intellectually honest. Why, he can even remember when David Letterman was funny. He’s been around that long.

Nevertheless he was still shocked to see Chris Matthews Leg thrilled into a catatonic state by the mere anticipation of hearing Barack Obama’s convention acceptance speech. But the news that Chris (the nation’s leading cheerleader for Senator Obama); and Keith Olbermann (the “nation’s televised face of sneering, drooling Bush hatred“); had been invited to vacate the anchor chairs of MSNBC’s election coverage snapped the sensitive appendage back to tingly consciousness.

After “The Great Injustice” as Chris is calling it, The Leg called an emergency meeting with the dry, shriveled husk of Keith Olbermann’s sense of shame in hopes of formulating a unified response strategy.

This proved to be impossible, however, as it quickly became apparent that the shock of MSNBC’s move to salvage it’s few, remaining wispy threads of journalistic credibility had pushed Olby utterly over the edge.

Thus, the Countdown Host’s long, heartbreaking descent into madness is seemingly complete. The last frayed mooring lines tethering the ex-sportscaster to the docks of reason have snapped and he is now adrift in the foaming sea of rage-fueled paranoia that is the comment threads at The Daily Kos, The Democratic Underground and the Huffington Post.

Chris Matthews’ Leg, though still stinging from the demotion, is ready to hum like a tuning fork at every messianic pronouncement from the world’s most famous community organizer. And Chris is ready to use the ever-diminishing influence of the Hardball pulpit to do his part for the holy cause.

Oops. Chris Matthews Head Mangles Obama’s Name

When you’re excited, you get sloppy.

Here, The Head adds a creative classic to the growing list of ways to mispronounce Barack Obama’s name. This one comes off something like, “Baccarat Bok Obama.”

Link here.

CM’s Leg Cheesed Off by Mouth’s Flakking for Hillary

The Leg is not happy with The Mouth. First, it blabbed to the world about The Leg’s giddy susceptibility to Obami Wan Kenobi’s oratorical mind tricks.

Then last night it had the gall to ask some poor unsuspecting Democrat legislator from Texas to name a single Obama legislative achievement—just one. The poor guy was too flummoxed to realize that it was a trick question!

It’s like asking someone to name the most thought-provoking episodes of The Teletubbies. It’s a nonsense question without an answer. You’re just supposed to look at the sun with a laughing baby’s face and feel better!

Chris Matthews’ Leg suspects the Mouth is trying to make up for gushing about Senator MesmerO by helping Hillary out a little. (AllahPundit at HotAir explores the topic.)

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