The Leg & Chris Simultaneously Mesmerized, Horrified by Coakley Senate Cluster-Schtupp

Chris Matthews’ Leg watched a pervasive cloud of gloom descend over the MSNBC studios over the last few days as poll after poll showed Republican Scott Brown’s campaign prospects rising faster than Conan O’Brien’s bank balance; and Martha Coakley’s cause staggering and stumbling across the finish line like Courtney Love after a sleepover at Amy Winehouse’s.

As the returns from Massachusetts rolled in tonight, The Leg begin to cramp up and spasm to a degree not experienced since Chris decided to dance with Ellen DeGeneres on her television show. Meanwhile, Chris Matthews’ head joined the chorus of liberal media voices and Dem Party honchos turning on poor Martha Coakley like a school of piranhas devouring a wounded one of their own.

Bus wheels . . . meet Martha.  Martha . . . bus wheels.

The Leg noted that both Olbermann and Maddow seemed to be taking their cues from the commenters at the Democratic Underground. The sage and savvy post election analysis there seemed to be: “Coakley lost because the Democrats aren’t being liberal enough.”

The Leg isn’t so sure that was the problem.

Sometimes a Leg Just Wants to Run

Chris Matthews’ Leg has a fever. And the only prescription, apparently, is . . . more power and attention.

Thus, Chris Matthews is planning to run for the United States Senate.

If you’re a manic bloviater who considers the sound of his own voice a rare and beautiful gift to all mankind, and deems every thought that pops into his head worthy of robust vocalization, then sitting at a network that gets lower ratings than The Colonoscopy Channel is just wandering in the wilderness.

The promised land is the club for pompous gasbags like Teddy Kennedy and Robert Byrd. You belong in the Senate.

Or so a certain self-aware appendage has been telling the man to whom it’s attached.

Sometimes a leg just has to run. As does the mouth.