Chris Matthews’ Head calls Hillary “The Al Sharpton of white people.” The Leg Calls Chris, “the Jar Jar Binks of real people.”

The Chris Matthews of PoliticiansThe Hillary Clinton of Media Whores

The Leg cramped up a little the other night when The Head got worked up and referred to Hillary Clinton as “the Al Sharpton of white people.”

This prompted the snappy rejoinder from The Leg about Chris’s favorite Star Wars character during a commercial break; and further devolved into name calling after Chris called The Leg “the Alf Landon of body parts.”

A chair-throwing melee broke out when The Leg accused Keith Olbermann of being “the Keith Olbermann of Keith Olbermanns.”

The Al Sharpton of Movie DesecratorsThe \The Keith Olbermann of Keith Olbermanns

The Leg and Olbermann Still Traumitized by ABC Debate

Though it’s been a full week since the sad and shocking events transpired in Philadelphia, Chris Matthews’ Leg remains in state of indignation mixed with bewilderment sprinkled on top with sparkly bits of white hot envy.

I’m referring to the so-called debate in which those vile inquisitors George Stephanopolous and Charlie Gibson abandoned all party-discipline and violated the unwritten MSM code of conduct by asking the Dem candidates questions that were actually on people’s minds. Hard questions! Embarrassing, relevant questions.

Traitors.

And what about our generation’s petulant answer to Edward R. Morrow? Keith Olbmermann seems to be suffering from some form of post-debate traumatic-stress disorder. He swings wildly between the spittle-flecked rage that is his default mode, and crying like a little girl. During both extremes he tends to mutter things about “George…how could you. . .?”

It is difficult to overstate how disorienting the ABC News-led debate was for Mr. Good Night & Good Luck.

For decades it’s been understood: Republicans get hard questions. Dems get softballs.

Now the natural order of things has been set on it’s head. And some people are having a very hard time dealing with it.

Chris Matthews’ Leg Recalls Visiting Pizza Place Under Sniper Fire

Chris Matthews’ Leg shared memories of some of his more thrilling adventures in journalism with a group of D.C. middle schoolers yesterday:

“I remember back in ’96 when me, James Carville, and the rest of Chris Matthews went to check out this new pizza place we’d heard about over by Dupont Circle. On the way over we heard a radio report of possible snipers in the trees around  Q Street. We jumped out of the car and kept our head’s down as we ran for our calzones. It was crazy.”

Afterwards, the students in Mrs. Sokolosky’s 5th grade Social Studies class appeared evenly divided on the question of whether Chris Matthews’ Leg was full of crap or genuinely delusional.

Update!:As it turns out, The Leg may have mis-remembered the incident. Carville says it wasn’t guerilla fighters. It was teenage boys. And they were on the sidewalks, not in the trees.

Oh, and they were hurling insults, not bullets.

Carville also compared Chris Matthews’ Leg to James-the-Son-of-Alpheus—the member of Jesus’ disciples that was a big emotional dork.

Gore as Mediator? The Leg Feels No Thrill

 gore.jpg

Today Chris Matthews’ Leg overheard The Head discussing a New York Post article which suggested only Al Gore has the stature and detachment to come to rescue of the Democratic Party:

If Al Gore can pull himself away from saving the planet long enough, he might want to consider rescuing the Democratic Party from the clutches of utter self-destruction. . . That leaves Al Gore as the only person with the experience to answer the red phone and force a peaceful end to this civil war.

The Leg’s immediate reaction?

“Right. The guy who refused to admit defeat for the good of COUNTRY is going to convince a Clinton to admit defeat for the good of a PARTY. Ummm, what’s your Plan B?”

Post Democrat Debate, CM Leg “Denounces” Russert. Head “Rejects” Second Green Room Muffin.

Chris Matthews’ Leg got one of those wicked calf cramps midway through the Democratic debate in Ohio tonight. You know, the kind where it feels like your calf muscle has flipped over on its back and it hurts like a mother.

The tension came from the blatant way Russert was ganging up on Hillary with gotcha questions and then would fall into some sort of semi-catatonic state whenever he looked into OSwami’s eyes. The Leg’s no Hillary fan but it thought it was embarrassing.

Afterwards in the Green Room, tempers on the NBC/MSNBC panel flared resulting in CM’s Head denouncing Russert and Russert rejecting the denunciation. After a cooling off period CM renounced his previous denunciation, but Russert denounced the renunciation on the grounds that CM is pasty and runs like a girl.

Michelle Malkin, (the focus of a secret crush by The Leg) live blogged the debate and conducted the official “cackle count.”

CM’s Leg Cheesed Off by Mouth’s Flakking for Hillary

The Leg is not happy with The Mouth. First, it blabbed to the world about The Leg’s giddy susceptibility to Obami Wan Kenobi’s oratorical mind tricks.

Then last night it had the gall to ask some poor unsuspecting Democrat legislator from Texas to name a single Obama legislative achievement—just one. The poor guy was too flummoxed to realize that it was a trick question!

It’s like asking someone to name the most thought-provoking episodes of The Teletubbies. It’s a nonsense question without an answer. You’re just supposed to look at the sun with a laughing baby’s face and feel better!

Chris Matthews’ Leg suspects the Mouth is trying to make up for gushing about Senator MesmerO by helping Hillary out a little. (AllahPundit at HotAir explores the topic.)