Precisely what constitutes the highest form of patriotism has been the focus of robust debate at 30 Rock since inauguration day. So reports, “The Oracle”–the official interpreter of the thoughts and thrills of Chris Matthews’ Leg.
Sure, for eight years the journalistic industrial complex and the intensely earnest comment throngs at DU, Daily Kos, and HuffPo have operated in breezy metaphysical certitude about patriotism. Dissent was the thing. A hundred thousand Suburu bumper stickers couldn’t be wrong.
That fragrant little orthodoxy meant that throughout the Bush 43 administration guys like Bill Maher and Olbermann could feel like the love child of Thomas Paine and Betsy Ross in suggesting that Dick Cheney eats the heads of live puppies for breakfast. It was awesome.
But then the day of bliss happened. Which led to “the conundrum.”
Chris suggested changing the bumper sticker beatitude to: Helping make this administration a success is the highest form of patriotism. Olbermann felt that was too wordy and countered with: Genuflecting is the highest form of patriotism. Maddow offered: Screaming “You’re freaking awesome Mr. President!” is the highest form of patriotism.
Other h.f.o.p. contenders were:
Giving the president a verbal hot oil foot rub . . . (Andrea Mitchell)
Abandoning all pretense of objectivity . . . (David Shuster)
Among America’s news men and women you’ll find a few holdouts stubbornly clinging to old fashioned notions of objectivity and journalistic integrity. Throw backs like ABC’s Jake Tapper–who told Charlie Rose the other night:
I would say for a lot of my colleagues, it’s perhaps an unrequited love between them and the president. He’s — you know, he’s a cool customer. You know, I think that there are some of us that, you know, maybe try to report on our feet a little bit more than on our knees and he doesn`t necessarily know what to make of us all the time. You know, he eyes us warily.
That comment gave The Leg an idea for his bumper sticker:
Reporting on your knees is the highest form of patriotism.
Then The Leg went online to order three pairs of kneepads for some friends who will need them.