Leg Cramps

Here are a few of the news items and events that gave Chris Matthews’ Leg a wicked cramp this week.

  • Hillary Confirmed as Pick for State Dept.–Chris’s “issues” with Sen. Clinton are well known, though poorly understood.  He was sure all his hard work shamelessly shilling for Obama over the last year had finished the Clintons. Taking a brighter view of the appointment was The Oracle of The Leg who looks forward to fresh accounts of our new Secretary of State ducking sniper finer in numerous world capitals, American urban areas, and some of the more harrowing suburban shopping malls.  As long-time readers know, Chris has been there.
  • Gov. Palin and The Silence of the Turkeys–This is what they would make PETA members watch if they were being held at Guantanamo. The YouTube of Sarah Palin giving an interivew with turkey dispatchment as a backdrop was the other source of buzz around the office today. “Clearly, I picked the wrong day to pack a turkey sandwich in the brown bag,” Chris muttered. “Hey Shuster, wanna trade?”
  • Al Qaeda Dares to Dis “He Who Must Succeed”–Osama Bin Laden’s #2 used a racial slur to insult America’s soon-to-be #1. This story was Leg cramp-inducing for two reasons. First of all The Leg loves Barack Obama the way Keith Olbermann loves . . . everything about Keith Olbermann. It’s profoundly hurtful to hear anyone speak ill of the Light Worker-elect. Second, Chris’s brain has a devil of a time keeping the words Osama and Obama from swapping file drawers in his mind’s vocabular storage facility. About twice a month, Chris refers to the worlds most wanted terrorist as “Obama” and the president elect as “Osama.” See here, here and here, for example. Chris has been undergoing expensive hynotherapy to break this infernal curse but now, with both names appearing in the same news item, it will be back to square one.