Memo: From The Office of the Leg of the Guy Who Totally Considers It His Job to Make The President-Elect a Success

From The Office of the Leg of the Guy Who Totally Considers

It His Journalistic Duty to Make The President-Elect a Success


Re: Lost My Number?

First let me say, Mr. President-Elect . . . Love, love, love the new web site. Seeing that dot-gov behind the word “change” makes me tingle like a wet squirrel on a high-tension power line.

Now, I’m not fishing for a “thank you” or anything, but I was just wondering when I might be getting a call from you; or one of the top members of your transition team–maybe Rahm or Joe. I’ve made sure Chris’s Head has kept the phone close at all times. (He’s been putting it in a ziplock when he showers.)

I certainly understand how busy you guys must be. Just sorting through the mountain of bogus and dicey online credit card donations alone must be a major undertaking. (Disabling all fraud-prevention measures was genius, IMHO. And egalitarian! Kudos!)

By the way, if you come across donations from “Miss Inga Tooth,” “Joaquin Closet,” “Ariel Payne Diaz,” “Diana Boredom,” “Mahatma Coat,” “Constance Ubervision,” and “Pikup Andropov”–all charged to the same credit card number–well . . . you’re welcome.

I’m not looking for a high-profile, paid position, necessarily. I’m thinking I could be one of your secret, stealth advisers. You know, one of those controversial guys that you denounce publicly (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) but still talk to on your mobile.

Then it occurred to me that you may have lost my number. My mobile is 555-THRILL-ME.  I’ll be looking forward to your call!  Anytime is good. Really.

Warm Tingly Regards,

Chris Matthews’ Leg

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