While receiving a deep tissue massage at NBC’s “30 Rock Day Spa and Zen Retreat,” Chris Matthews’ Leg was overheard sleepily musing about Rush Limbaugh’s touchiness about being libeled and slandered.

As the masseuse applied an invigorating lavender-sage exfoliant, The Leg recalled with admiration the Dan Rather/Mary Mapes defense of their fabricating damaging stuff about President George W. Bush . . . “Fake but accurate,” they’d declared.

“Sure these quotes were purely the product of a fevered, conservative-loathing, wikipedia grafitti artist,” The Leg opined. “But that’s irrelevant. The quotes were perfectly consistent with the caricature of Rush we have all worked so hard to create over the last 20 years. Therefore, they were ‘authentic’ in the best, postmodern sense of the word.”

“So, the quotes fit the preferred narrative?” the masseuse piped up, hoping for a tip (for a change.)

“Exactly!” The Leg spasmed. “For all the people that matter, the quotes were fake but satisfying.”

“Fake but delicious,” the masseuse offered as he applied a moisturizing emollient, but the The Leg didn’t respond. It had drifted off to sleep.

Chris Matthews’ Leg pretty much went through all five stages of grief (and sort of free-styled a sixth) after hearing the stunning news that the International Olympic Committee had chosen Rio as the site for the 2016 Olympics–thus snubbing Chicago, the cocoon from which President Obama (higher approval ratings be upon Him) emerged like a glorious butterfly just a few short years ago.

“How is this possible?” The Leg sputtered. “The members of the committee experienced the the full soul-healing and psyche-massaging sounds of His voice. In person!”

Still stinging at the injustice of it all, The Leg called and canceled his monthly leg-hair removal session at Brazilian Bob’s Day Spa and Depilatory Hut.

Chris Matthews’ Leg did it’s doughy best to keep a Twitter feed going during the President’s wise and soul-healing address tonight. But Tweety Tweets are tough to produce when you’re vibrating at about 2,000 cycles per second and singing “Oh, sweet mystery of life, at last I’ve found you!”

The only legs more excited than Matthews’ sensitive appendage tonight appeared to belong to Nancy Pelosi who repeatedly demonstrated a vertical leap that should enable her to dunk at will over Dikembe Mutombo.

The Leg loved the way Dear Leader showed he was a young man of fresh ideas by reminding us that politicians have been trying to put those uppity doctors in their place since Teddy Roosevelt. He also thought that having a smirking and grinning Nancy Pelosi seemingly perched on the President’s shoulder in a red dress throughout the address was surely a visually compelling way to reassure all the wavering rubes in flyover country and get them on board with the brilliant plan that’s going to make everything better in every way but not cost anyone any more money.

Sitting on the other shoulder was Joe Biden, who seemed to perk up and lean in when the Shining One said he wanted to address some remarks to senior citizens.

The highlight for the Leg is when the President pointed us all to the Social Security program as a shining example of how the government can run an entitlement program without it becoming a ticking time bomb of exploding deficits and impending national insolvency. (Brilliant!)

Now, surely, the American people will chill out and let those clever folks in Congress do what they do best.

When the Financial Times reported yesterday that Barack Obama will become the first American president to physically chair the 15-member United Nations National Security Council, Chris Matthews’ Leg felt that familiar surge of bioelectric neural excitement.

“It’ll totally be like he’s all, ‘Hey, I’m in charge of the whole world’ for a couple of days, and the world will be all ‘woohoo! we’re on the Hope and Change Express!” The Leg enthused.

Past U.S. presidents have all delegated the job of chairing the Security Council to experienced ambassadors who, (A) have the diplomatic skills and experience to navigate the labyrinthine complexity of the U.N. bureaucracy, and (B) don’t mind wading around in the putrid, corruption-riddled, hypocritical, America-loathing, cluster-farg that is the United Nations.

But not this president. No sir. The Leg recalls that when candidate Obama spoke at the Brandenburg gate in Berlin, he  introduced himself as a “citizen of the world” How could he possibly turn down the opportunity to spend a few days pretending to be the king of it?

In a stunning revelation that is likely to increase pressure on the state of Hawaii to release the full version of the President’s birth certificate, Chris Matthews told the Today show’s Ann Curry that President Barack Obama was “the last Kennedy brother.”

Though it wasn’t picked up by NBC microphones, The Leg quickly added, “And in my heart, he’s the fifth Beatle; the eighth wonder of the world; and the fourth member of the Godhead.”

The Leg thinks it’s awesome that the President, between Rose Garden cigarette breaks, has come up with a plan to fix the nation’s heatlh care system.

“I’m uber stoked.” the self-aware appendage recently told the make up lady at MSNBC studios. “I’m looking forwward enjoying the same efficiency and excellence in my doctor’s visits as I experience when interacting with the IRS or the Social Security Administration.”

“Let’s face it,” The Leg gushed. “Nothing fosters streamlined, hassle-free excellence like government oversight and colossal paperwork burdens. Just ask a car dealer.”

Recently, Chris Matthews’ sensitive, self-aware limb pronounced that “a wise, doughy leg with rich tingly experiences will always reach better conclusions than will a more tanned, muscular leg that hasn’t felt those thrills.”

This is why The Leg gave its most vigorous endorsement to Sonia Sotomayor for SCOTUS today. “I think the President (high approval ratings be upon him) made a brilliant choice,” The Leg enthused. “Empathy rules! We need justices who won’t allow themselves to be constricted by trivialities like the actual words of the Constitution or the intent of elected lawmakers. We need judges who will make rulings based on whom they feel sorriest for.”

Follow the everyday tingles, thrills, and chills of “The Leg” over at the Chris Matthews’ Leg Twitter feed.

David and Bathsheba. Cleopatra and Antony. King Edward and Wallace Simpson. These are some of the great romances of history. It is clear that we can now add to that list of legendary hookups: “MSNBC and The Obama White House.”

Not since a sidewalk collision got someone’s peanut butter on someone else’s chocolate have two entities been more treacly sweet on each other.

It’s been no secret that most of MSNBC’s “journalists” have had gigantic, giggly crushes on B.O.A.H.T. (Barack Obama and His Teleprompter) since the primaries. But then so did most of the rest of the post-journalism media. No, what makes this love story special is that when Chris, Keith, Rachel, et. al. slipped the Obama a White House this note:

Do you like us?  ___Yes  ___No  ___For a Friend

. . . it came back with the “Yes” box checked. This was confirmed by White House advisor Kareem Dale on C-SPAN the other day. The White House’s true feelings are revealed at about the 1:51 mark in this video:

This explains why Rachel Maddow was recently heard singing Roberta Flack’s “The First Time Ever I Saw His Face.”

The Oracle says:

Since the Paul Harvey book project, things have been too quiet around here. Sorry about that. The book is off to the publisher now. And to make up for the neglect, The Oracle has launched a Twitter feed for The Leg.

You’ll find it here.

What could be more appropriate that regular tweeting by Tweety’s Leg? Go follow the tingle!