The Oracle’s Mystery Book Project . . . Revealed!

Chris Matthews’ Leg does NOT want you to get this book. And the dry shriveled husk of Keith Olbermann’s sense of shame hates it too!
I, the Oracle, now have clearance to talk about the mystery book deal I mentioned in the previous post. It’s this:

Stephen is a friend who also happens to have a couple [...]

The Oracle on Hiatus

The Oracle of the Leg has a book deal. And a looming deadline.
So, with his apologies, please expect radio silence for the next 30 days. If The Leg hasn’t exploded by then–and if the Hope and Change express hasn’t outlawed all dissent–reporting will resume in about a month.

Leg Cramps

Here are a few of the news items and events that gave Chris Matthews’ Leg a wicked cramp this week.

Hillary Confirmed as Pick for State Dept.–Chris’s “issues” with Sen. Clinton are well known, though poorly understood.  He was sure all his hard work shamelessly shilling for Obama over the last year had finished the Clintons. [...]

First Ever Tingle Poll of CML Readers

Be heard. Smooth Jazz the Vote!

Chris Matthews’ Leg Vibrates at 250 MHz. Causes Matthews to Slide Randomly Around MSNBC Set Like Electric Football Man.

Barack Obama’s victory speech overstimulated the sensitive neuro-receptors in Chris Matthews’ lower left extremity and caused it to hum like a tuning fork.
The Leg couldn’t help feeling it had played a small role in making this historic night possible.
Yes, Chris, MSNBC and pretty much the entire broadcast news industry traded the last bits of their [...]

Tingly Leg Syndrome Infects Son of William F. Buckley

Chris Matthews Leg is thrilled to welcome to the Club of the Mesmerized novelist Christopher Buckley.
As The Leg knows well, there are many paths to enlightenment about “The One.” The Leg isn’t quite sure how a smart guy like Buckley, who claims to prize small government and conservative/libertarian principles, gets up that hill, but it’s [...]

Leg thinks “Obama sure to win back middle-aged moms now that Sarah Palin is being trashed by rich, trampy celebrity girls.”

The Leg is encouraged.
“Sure, the Obama-Biden ticket was already losing the support of suburban moms because of that crazy perception that he is elitist and out-of-touch,” The Leg admits. “Yes, those McCain ‘Celebrity/Paris Hilton’ ads really stung.”
“And, of course, McCain’s pick of a hockey mom with five kids–one of them a special-needs baby– made all [...]

Getting Fired Wakens Chris Matthews’ Leg. Spasms, Cramps Ensue.

The Oracle–gifted interpreter of the bio-electric pulses racing up and down Chris Matthews’ sciatic nerve–is pleased to announce that getting the hook has jerked The Leg awake.
The Oracle has been around quite a while. He’s been following politics and punditry so long, he can remember when Andrew Sullivan was intellectually honest. Why, he can even [...]

New Alien Video Mystery Solved

Yesterday Chris Matthews’ Leg was shooting the breeze with the lifeless, shriveled husk of Keith Olbermann’s sense of shame as “the heads” (as The Leg affectionately calls them) were getting their makeup done.
Eventually, the subject of that new alien video came up.
The Leg said, “When I heard that someone had video tape of a menacing, [...]

The Leg Assures Absolutely No Offense Will Be Taken If Candidate Obama Calls It “Sweetie”

In several public places frequented by Obama campaign insiders, Chris Matthews’ Leg has been heard casually but loudly mentioning that it wouldn’t be the least bit offended if the Senator happened to address it as “sweetie.”
“He can also call me Sioux Falls, Sioux City, the 57th state, or a Typical White Person’s Leg if he [...]

Poultry-phobic Olbermann Relieved to Learn, “Chickens Coming Home to Roost” is Just a Metaphor.

The day didn’t start out great. First Olber R. Furrow had to endure what he loudly and pompously declared “the worst waffle in the world.” And finding out about that “chickens” saying was a little embarrassing.
But things turned around big time when he finally got around to reading Sunday’s New York Times op-ed page (or [...]

Chris Matthews’ Leg Boldly Predicts “As Guam Goes, So Goes Pitcairn Island.”

Following Barack Obama’s narrow, 7-vote victory over Hillary Rodham Clinton in the Guamian caucuses yesterday, The Leg was feeling. . .if not a full fledged thrill . . . at least a warm glow of satisfaction.
“It was a Gaum-Obama-Rama!” enthused The Leg, unmoved by the reality that Obama and Clinton both came away with two [...]

Chris Matthews’ Leg Confident Obama Meant Small-Town Americans Are “Bitter, Gun-Crazed, Religious-Nut, Bigot Xenophobes” in a Good Way

Senator Obama’s “Condescension Tour” got off to a rocky start in San Francisco late last week. But The Leg can’t figure out what the rubes in flyover country are all chafe-y and hacked about.
It seems small town Americans are prickly about having their feelings caricatured by hyper-ambitious, Harvard-educated, self-styled Messiahs for the entertainment and ego-massaging [...]

The Leg Breaks Silence After Close Encounter with Obama’s Leg

Though a clearly energized Chris Matthews’ Head hasn’t stopped talking for a moment since the “College Tour” fawn-fest with Obami Wan Kenobi, The Leg has been uncharacteristically silent since its close encounter with the glowing, hope-infusing, change-triggering, cynicism-stripping aura that surrounds the legs of the candidate.
Apparently, the sound vibrations generated by the voice of the [...]

The Leg Wowed by Andrew Sullivan’s Flexibility

Chris Matthews’ Leg was talking to the lifeless shriveled husk of Keith Olbermann’s sense of shame the other day. They were both totally in awe of the way ex-conservative Andrew Sullivan can turn his histrionic self-righteousness on a dime.
“It’s freaking incredible,” The Leg enthused. “I mean, one day he’s in his regular mode of demonizing any Republican [...]