“As a body part attached to high-profile figure who takes strong political stands, I want to express my solidarity with Senator Obama’s kahones,” Chris Matthews’ Leg announced today. “I must deplore in the strongest possible terms Rev. Jackson’s ‘hot-mike’ expression of a wish to surgically separate the presidential candidate’s huevos from his [...]
It wasn’t the best of weeks for Chris Matthews or his leg.
First, The Leg took hard the news that it would be Tom Brokaw’s leg tucked under Tim Russert’s desk for the forseeable future. Then, “The Head” mixed up the names Obama and Osama not once, but twice! To top it off, the Brokaw thing [...]
The Leg operates under a very simple values system.
Every potential action is weighed against one question: Is this good for Barack Obama’s election prospects?
Thus, you can understand The Leg’s consternation at the escalating Machiavellian maneuvering between Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews’ Head following the sudden opening of the lead position on “Meet the Press”–a real [...]
On behalf of Chris Matthews’ Leg, The Oracle would like to express his deepest sympathies and prayers for comfort to the family and friends of Tim Russert–whose professionalism and journalistic integrity has seemed particularly rare and valuable over the last year or so.
Gone too soon. Missed already.
As a student of history and long-time political junkie, Chris Matthews’ Leg is keenly aware of the historic implications of the Obama candidacy–and it has The Leg tingling from toe to hip joint.
Never has a person with so little experience running anything, or come to think of it, doing anything, come so close to running [...]
As Barack Obama finally laid claim to the Democratic nomination in his speech the other night, The Leg was vibrating like a tuning fork.
Each soaring, ambiguous platitude took the sensitive appendage to a higher level of harmonic resonance. Each thrilling-though-utterly-undeliverable promise sent electric thrills radiating up the Hardball host’s tibia and femur.
As the speech culminated [...]
Exhibit A – Keith Olbermann may have a ongoing problem remembering to pay his taxes.
Exhibit B - Chris Matthews may be carrying a grudge against Arianna Huffington for allegedly hiring a private detective to tail Tim Russert.
Exhibit C – Keith Olbermann may have audibly slammed his hand down on his desk, on-air, when David Gregory [...]
In a rare instance of disunity, the incessantly talking Head and thrill-sensing Leg of Chris Matthews have come down on different sides on the issue of former White House spokeshuman, Scott McClellan.
At issue is: Was Scott McClellan a weaselly, disingenuous shill back when he was working in the White House? Or is he a weaselly, [...]
With a mixture of shock and sadness, Chris Matthews’ Leg watched colleague Keith Olbermann’s “Special Comment” Wednesday night as the last remaining threads connecting the former sportscaster to the world of reality snapped like rotted mooring lines.
In a 15-minute snarling, spittle-flecked primal-scream of a rant, Olbermann accused President Bush of personally inventing disease, birth defects, [...]
It is a little-known and poorly-understood fact that John Edwards’ hair follicles have evolved to perform essentially the same function for him as the left leg has for Chris Matthews. That is, serve as a ultra-sensitive antenna-receptor for the cosmic good vibrations emanating from the cigarette-smoke-fogged voice box of Barack Obama.
For example, as Obami Wan [...]
The Leg cramped up a little the other night when The Head got worked up and referred to Hillary Clinton as “the Al Sharpton of white people.”
This prompted the snappy rejoinder from The Leg about Chris’s favorite Star Wars character during a commercial break; and further devolved into name calling after Chris called The Leg [...]
Chris and The Leg have been re-listening to Rev. Jeremiah Wright’s speech to the NAACP in hopes of harvesting more of the sage philosopher’s pearls of wisdom and cutting-edge socio-scientific insights on topics like marching bands, baby mobiles, and the funny way white people talk and sing.
“It’s an intellectual, inspirational tour-de-force,” enthused The Leg. “Except [...]
These are times that try Obama Media Cheerleaders’ souls (or in the case of Keith Olbermann, that soul-shaped vacuum adjacent to the lifeless shriveled husk of his sense of shame.)
20 years and 4 months after Jimmy “The Greek” Snyder was fired by CBS and made a national pariah for suggesting that genetic differences between blacks [...]
Though it’s been a full week since the sad and shocking events transpired in Philadelphia, Chris Matthews’ Leg remains in state of indignation mixed with bewilderment sprinkled on top with sparkly bits of white hot envy.
I’m referring to the so-called debate in which those vile inquisitors George Stephanopolous and Charlie Gibson abandoned all party-discipline [...]
Senator John McCain joined the Hardball “College Tour” yesterday, after which, Chris Matthews’ Leg was clearly relieved to have the close encounter behind him (and his behind still intact).
“The man makes me nervous,” The Leg confided. “There is definitely a kind of, ‘Zell Miller-y’ vibe coming off the guy that causes me to get all [...]
