It was cute for a while, but Chris Matthews Leg is officially “done” with Lil’ Beady’s monomania about the host of The O’Reilly Factor.
At first The Leg was amused by KeOlb’s all-consuming, reason-draining preoccupation. And it empathized. After all, it’s no fun getting trounced in the ratings night after night after night. Criminy, in a typical evening three or four times more people watch The Factorthan tune in to watch Olbermann give an hot oil video foot rub to the Daily Kos commenter mob. That’s gotta sting.
But The Leg says “e-freaking-nough already.” It’s had it up to here (indicating the hip bone area) with whole thing. “At least give it a rest off the air. And stop carrying around that ridiculous OReilly face on a stick, too. FYI, the kid on the other end of the Taco Bell drive through speaker can’t see that you’re holding the O’Reilly face up when you order—even though you think it’s hilarious.”
Meanwhile, The Leg got a kick out of seeing (on Hot Air) Olbermann be all conflicted and scoldy about SNL and Jon Stewart poking fun at the swoon MesmerO has the news media in. The Leg feels vindicated that it isn’t the only one feeling the thrill.
Something Chris Matthews’ Leg described as ”a jolt of pure, bio-luminescent bliss” shot up the extremity today upon learning that Michelle Malkin had named this little outpost “Best New Blog Name of the Month.” The Oracle of the Leg is deeply grateful.
That, of course, would explain that massive spike in traffic over the last 24 hours.
Speaking of spikes, that surge of power The Leg felt after hearing that Michelle had noticed it, shot past the thigh, beyond the left cheek and kind of swirled in the general spinal area—leaving The Leg giddy and dazed. At least, until the news of William F. Buckley Jr.’s passing competely “harshed its buzz.”
Like the Head, The Leg thought WFB was very cool and a class act. He’ll be sorely missed.
Chris Matthews’ Leg got one of those wicked calf cramps midway through the Democratic debate in Ohio tonight. You know, the kind where it feels like your calf muscle has flipped over on its back and it hurts like a mother.
The tension came from the blatant way Russert was ganging up on Hillary with gotcha questions and then would fall into some sort of semi-catatonic state whenever he looked into OSwami’s eyes. The Leg’s no Hillary fan but it thought it was embarrassing.
Afterwards in the Green Room, tempers on the NBC/MSNBC panel flared resulting in CM’s Head denouncing Russert and Russert rejecting the denunciation. After a cooling off period CM renounced his previous denunciation, but Russert denounced the renunciation on the grounds that CM is pasty and runs like a girl.
Michelle Malkin, (the focus of a secret crush by The Leg) live blogged the debate and conducted the official “cackle count.”
Chris Matthews’ Leg caught most of the Oscar telecast last night, but used the PiP function on the widescreen to toggle over to Rock of Love 2 on VH1 during the commercial breaks.
Generally, all of CM thought the ceremonies were a little boring this year. It seems the only nominated movie Chris Matthews’ head had seen was Ratatouille. He’d walked out of No Country for Old Menwhen he discovered 10 minutes in that it did not feature Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau.
“For the first time in my adult life I’m proud to be connected to Chris Matthews’ body,” proclaimed “The Leg” in a startling statement yesterday—in apparent reference to Chris’ authorship of his new book, Life’s a Campaign.
It’s an admission that has stirred controversy and comment on the blogosphere.
Other CM extremities, particularly Chris Matthews’ head, criticized the leg for its negative view of the host body, citing numerous occasions in recent years that have caused them to swell with pride.
Chris Matthews Leg was unmoved today when Obami Wan Kenobi stopped in the middle of a Dallas speech today to blow his nose, even though the move was clearly a big hit with the largely pre-mesmerized-for-your-convenience crowd.
The Leg felt the impromptu nasal evacuation appeared tentative and timid—sort of the sinusorial equivalent of voting “present” on a controversial piece of legislation.
The excitable extremity had a more robust reaction to the news that Mike Huckabee’s wife was in Las Vegas to catch a prize fight featuring an Arkansas boxer and, because of a scheduling change, the pastor’s wife ended up staying at the Hooters Casino Hotel.
Simply hearing the words Las Vegas, fight, and Hooters in the same sentence sent a thrill running up Matthews’ leg to roughly knee level.
The Leg is not happy with The Mouth. First, it blabbed to the world about The Leg’s giddy susceptibility to Obami Wan Kenobi’s oratorical mind tricks.
Then last night it had the gall to ask some poor unsuspecting Democrat legislator from Texas to name a single Obama legislative achievement—just one. The poor guy was too flummoxed to realize that it was a trick question!
It’s like asking someone to name the most thought-provoking episodes of The Teletubbies. It’s a nonsense question without an answer. You’re just supposed to look at the sun with a laughing baby’s face and feel better!
Chris Matthews’ Leg suspects the Mouth is trying to make up for gushing about Senator MesmerO by helping Hillary out a little. (AllahPundit at HotAir explores the topic.)
Chris Matthews’ Leg experienced a fleeting tingle of anticipation when network coverage cut away in the middle off Hillary’s unconcession-y concession speech last night in order to carry the Dali Obama’s victory address to a large and rowdy crowd in Houston, Texas. Chris Matthews’ Leg failed to react thereafter, however.
The Leg later complained that Obama tried to get all policy-y and specific which it described as ”a total curve ball” and “a little off-putting.”
“Where are the meaningless platitudes and sappy bromides?,” The Leg was overheard complaining to the void where Keith Olbermann’s soul used to be. “Where are the college-girl-dorm-room-poster sentiments?”
Chris Matthews’ Leg rated the speech “barely ankle high” on the thrill meter.
Periodic reports, insight and election analysis from the leg with a
finger toe on the pulse of the American electorate. If the leg feels a thrill, you’ll hear it here first.